I Like Generals and One Really Great Thought About Email

As you can all see, I like my generals. I would have more generals working directly for me if I could, but Reince didn’t think it was such a good idea. Why not? I went to a military academy. All kids would be in a military academy if we had a general for a Secretary of Education. But Reince thought it would be good to have a woman so that teachers could relate to people like themselves.

So I made a few concessions. So what? It’s not that big a deal. I still got a lot of generals. They make me feel like Julius Caesar, or better yet, George Washington himself, who I was folks.

Still, I think more generals would have been better.

For example, I could have hired General Mills to be Secretary of Manufacturing. General Tire would have been Secretary of Transportation. Clearly, they would have been extremely qualified, without question.

Dollar General (not sure why his name is always backwards) would have made a great Treasury Secretary.

General Dynamics would have been Secretary of Dynamite.

General Motors would have been Secretary of Transportation. So, well, we’d have two.

General Electric would have been Secretary of Electricity.

Get the picture?

Ok, on to the next great thought.

It’s time to Repeal and Replace Email with Pencils, in honor of our great vice president, Mike Pence.

No email is valid, or admissible in court for any reason what so ever, by my immediate executive order which I am signing in pencil and which means I am making history.

Pencils only from now on, folks. Pencils and very white paper.

I will have more details about this very soon.