Internet shminternet. My Great Plan Will Revolutionarize Economic Growth.

Al Gore thinks he’s so smart because he invented the internet and revolutionarized economic growth. Yeah, ok. Maybe he did a little. Some. A little. I like Tweeting. So Ok. A lot.

Al Gore
Vice President Al Gore, Inventor of the Internet.

Now he thinks going GREEN is going to save the world and create economic growth.

Wishful thinking. Really stupid.

I mean, get rid of the heat and what’s going to happen? The oceans will freeze over. So what then, raping illegals can just walk into our country from anywhere? They can walk across the ocean and right up to the beach at Mar-a-Lago? I don’t think so.

But my plan, this is a truly revolutionary plan. And I have some experience with revolutions. I invented the AMERICAN REVOLUTION!

So here’s my REVOLUTIONARY ECONIMIC plan.

1-sided flags.

Yes, 1-sided flags.

Think about it. All that wasted advertising space on every two-sided flag. There’s already a flag on one side. You don’t have to repeat it.

I mean, when you read a book. Ok, yes, a book. I know what they are. I remember seeing them when I was a beautiful child. One Fish, Two Fish. Cat in the House. Tim Horton’s Donut Hears Something.

BOOKS!

You open a book. You turn a page. Do you see the same words on the back of the page?

NO! NEVER!

Or take Ivanka’s clothing line. She has labels on everything. On one side it tells you how to clean the clothes and how big they are. (Anything above 10 is really a disgrace). On the other side IVANKA TRUMP.

Smart. That’s really smart.

We’re going to do the same thing with our flags.

One side, stars, stripes, whatever. On the other side corporate sponsorships. This flag is brought to you by Carrier. Or This flag is brought to you by the Coal Miners of America. Or this flag is brought to you by KFC (my favorite).

Every single flag will have a sponsorship opportunity.

I introduce disappointed corporate sponsors to that nasty Betsy Ross.

Listen. I have to confess. I didn’t just come up with this idea. I’ve had it FOREVER. Ever since I asked that nasty Betsy Ross to make our first flag. I asked for a one sided flag because I already had sponsorships lined up.

This flag is brought to you by Paul Revere Silver.

This flag is brought to you by Ben Franklin Spectacles.

This flag is brought to you by the Slave Trader Association of America (my favorite).

You know what that nasty woman did? She gave me 13 stars and 13 stripes on BOTH SIDES!

NASTY WOMAN!

Now, I’m going to fix all that. We’ll be making millions of dollars. Probably billions and trillions of dollars sponsoring American flags.

It’s going to be HUGE!

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