To: All Architects and Engineers
Topic: Detailed bid specifications for my Great Wall between the US and Mexico
Purpose of Wall: To keep Mexican rapists, gangs, drug cartels, illegal immigrants, and anyone who wants to cause us harm out of our great country, while fulfilling my campaign promise to the American people and making me look strong and invincible, because I am.
Start Date: As soon as Mexico makes its first bank installment, unless they don’t, then don’t worry about that and start now.
Finish Date: It‘s not something you need to worry about right now.
Budget: Unlimited, but I will reduce the price to nothing when I don’t pay you.
Length: From one end of the country to the other and longer than the wall in China.
1. Big enough so that everyone in the world can see it if they just look up wherever they are, so that there’s never any question about the existence of my great wall.
2. Tall enough to drop stuff off like David Letterman used to drop stuff off the roof, so people can have fun when they visit, especially me.
3. A moat. Kings had moats around their castles. I think I it would be nice to have one of those too around my country
4. I like gold. So gold brick would be a very nice building material.
5. Ivanka has a line on inexpensive walnut doors, from the Trump hotel in Azerbaijan. Work in some of those doors, and we’ll give you a 5% bonus upon completion.