Spoke with Vladimir Putin Today 5/2/2017

FAKE NEWS will tell you we spoke about Syria, North Korea, and the Middle East.


Fake news has no idea what we were really talking about, because before the meeting my people and Putin’s people agreed on code words and phrases. So…

Syria = Trump Tower in St. Petersburg.

North Korea= Trump Tower in Moscow.

Middle East= Trump Tower in Ukraine, somewhere, not sure where.

We had other code words too.

Hello in Russian = We have the gold shower tape.

Hello in English = Hang on to it for now. I’ll get you what you want.

How are you in Russian = Are you able to stop the FBI from investigating how you paid us to interfere with your election?

How are you in English = Deny, deny, deny. They don’t have enough evidence. Sally what’s-her-name is a stupid blabber mouth.

Trump and Putin
We agreed on code words and phrases before today’s call.

I’m fine in Russian = I want Assad to stay in power and you will help me make sure that he does.

I’m fine too in English = I promise to only drop bombs so it looks like I’m doing something but I won’t drop too many and they won’t kill too many of Assad’s people.

Good talking to you in Russian = I’m watching every step you make and if I don’t like it I’ll make you pay.

Good talking to you too in English = Whatever, I never pay anybody.